He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
