I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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