Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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