Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
