i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
