Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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