is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
