Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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