Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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