She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
