Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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