She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
