I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Found the puke drawer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
