Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
