He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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