This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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