thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
