He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
