im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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