Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
