Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
