He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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