Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
