Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
