i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
