Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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