found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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