A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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