which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
