it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Where is the hickey?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
