well I can't set my house on fire every night
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
