I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
