god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
