I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
