Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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