Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
