is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
