i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
