WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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