Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
