me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
