question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just puked most of my soul out..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
