The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
