I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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