A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
we're so committed to being not committed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
