hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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