How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
