she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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