Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
