can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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