so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
