Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
